Recently, BusinessWeek’s Stephen Baker, through various channels, has been exploring the nature of friendship in the age of social networking. He’s interviewed a number of experts and analysts on the evolution of the term “friend” over the years, and how the proliferation of networks like Facebook has socially altered our collective definition of the word.
I’d never really thought about it before, and I certainly can’t claim to be an expert on the matter, but it’s a fascinating discussion point. Is how we view the concept of friendship different from how we viewed it 50 years ago? 10 years ago? Why should it be any different? Or maybe the better question is, why shouldn’t it be?
Right now I have 152 Facebook friends. Bit of a shock to me, actually – I didn’t know I knew that many people. They include folks I’ve encountered in all different walks of life – high school, college, work, church, etc. I have clients, colleagues, my lovely girlfriend, current and former buddies, ex-roommates and people I haven’t spoken to “live” in 10 years on there. And there’s not one of them that I’m ashamed to have on the list. Well, except that one guy. He knows who he is.
But do I consider them all friends? More importantly, has having them as Facebook friends altered my definition of the word itself? The answer to the first question, of course, is no. Some I’d consider acquaintances, some family, others former friends with whom the years apart has eroded any sense of real friendship. It’s kind of nice to know they’re around, though – sort of like a network reminding me of shared experiences.
As for the second question, I don’t think it has. The definition of friendship to me is like that of “obscenity” as defined by former U.S. Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart – I know it when I see it. It’s fluid, amorphous. I’m wondering if this might be the case for society too, and in that respect, I don’t think it’s changed much.
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. Maybe I just wanted an excuse to title a blog post with a “Bride of Frankenstein” line. Maybe the concept of friendship has never really been definable. Regardless, it’s something to think about as we continue to navigate the new world of gods and monsters we call social networking.
By Mark Van Hook